🤝 Workplace Know-How
What to Do When You and Your Boss Don't Get Along
Between "endure it" and "quit," there are things you can do
📖 7 min read📅 2026-07-20
"I feel like I'm the only one treated differently."
Linh (29) from Da Nang, Vietnam had been carrying that feeling — unable to tell anyone — since around the time she passed her first year at a nursing care facility in Yokohama.
The chief's instructions were always short and rapid-fire. When Linh asked her to repeat something, the chief would sigh: "I already told you this before." When a Japanese coworker asked the same question, she explained it patiently. Linh's shift requests rarely went through, and she had even been scolded in front of the residents.
"Maybe my Japanese is the problem." "Maybe I'm not cut out for care work." — At night in her dormitory bed, once the thoughts started, they wouldn't stop. Before work, her stomach grew heavy the moment she reached the station nearest the facility. Days like that kept piling up.
Should she quit? But she had worked so hard to learn this job. The residents told her, "The room gets brighter when you're here, Linh." The problem wasn't the work — it was her relationship with one single boss.
Linh thought she had only two options: keep enduring, or quit. In reality, there are several choices in between. For everyone carrying the same worry, here they are in FAQ form.
"I don't get along with my boss" may well be the number one worry of working people everywhere — Japanese people included. It is not a defect in your ability or your personality. Don't let it turn emotional; take the steps one at a time.
❓ Frequently Asked Questions
Q.Is it my fault that my boss and I don't get along?
A.No. In Japanese surveys too, the top "real reasons for quitting" are consistently workplace relationships and compatibility with one's boss. It is a completely ordinary problem that happens between Japanese people as well. Foreign workers, however, tend to blame themselves: "maybe it's my Japanese," "maybe I don't know the culture." Start by knowing this — chemistry problems happen to everyone. Just knowing that makes the weight a little lighter.
Q.How should I raise complaints or things I'm struggling with?
A.We recommend the three-part formula: fact + what's difficult + request. Example: "When instructions are only verbal, I sometimes can't catch everything, and that's hard for me. If I could get just the key points by memo or chat, I could act on them without mistakes." Frame it as a proposal about how the work is done — not criticism of the person ("your way of teaching is bad") — and the other side can receive it far more easily. If you feel emotions rising, don't say it on the spot; organize your thoughts and speak the next day.
Q.It's hard to say it to the person directly. Who can I consult?
A.In this order: ① a senior coworker or trainer you trust, ② someone above your boss, such as HR or the facility director, ③ a consultation service outside the company. Many companies have regular one-on-one interviews or consultation desks. There's no need to think of it as "tattling" — in Japanese companies, workplace-relationship consultations are one of HR's official jobs. When you talk, the trick is to stay fact-based: not "I hate the chief," but "in this situation, my work is being affected."
Q.Can I request a transfer (a change of department or assignment)?
A.Yes. Asking about a transfer is not "running away" — it's a formal system that exists in many Japanese companies. In a care facility it might be a change of floor or unit; in a factory, a different line or team — you can often change your environment within the same company. In an HR interview, try opening with: "I want to continue this work, but I'd like to discuss the team arrangement." For the company too, keeping you through a transfer beats losing you to resignation.
Q.Could this be harassment? Are there signs I've reached my limit?
A.The line between "guidance" and power harassment is whether it attacks you as a person, and whether it is persistent. Being yelled at repeatedly in front of everyone, being ignored, being given no work at all (or a clearly excessive amount, only to you) — if these continue, it may be power harassment. And if you can't sleep, have no appetite, or feel ill before work, those are your mind's limit signals. In that case, don't keep enduring — contact the services below. Free, anonymous, multilingual, and your company will not find out.
Q.Is it okay to start thinking about changing jobs?
A.Of course. If you've worked on how you communicate, consulted the people around you, and considered a transfer — and still nothing changes, then changing your environment is not "running away" but a legitimate choice. On an Engineer/Humanities/International Services visa you can change jobs within the same occupation; under Specified Skilled Worker, within the same sector. For the job-change rules and cautions for each residence status, see GloJob's article "Types of Work Visas and Job Change Considerations." What matters is moving before your body and mind break.
🤝 Where to get help (free, multilingual, anonymous OK)
Yorisoi Hotline
You can consult via chat. "My relationship with my boss is painful" is a perfectly good reason to reach out. If phone calls feel hard, start here.
🌐 Multilingual support ⏰ 24 hours / Free
💬 Chat for support →📞 0120-279-338
FRESC — Foreign Residents Support Center (Ministry of Justice)
Comprehensive consultation on workplace relationships, labor issues, and residence status.
🌐 English, Chinese, Korean, Portuguese, and 10 other languages ⏰ Mon–Fri 9:00–17:00
📝 Contact via web →📞 0570-011000
